thinking of leaving babys father. How many single moms out there?
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i have a 4 month old son with a guy who is a hugh pos!!!!
he stresses me out so bad. He hasnt worked in a week cause he has a cold. He hardly takes care of his son and we live together. He is so bad with his money. All i ask of him is 30 bucks a week and for a whole month he couldnt even give me that. I make 100 bucks less then him a week and still have extra money. I cant even buy a pair of pants for my self cause im scared the baby will need soemthing and he wont be able to help me out. i hold the health insurance, i pay for all the doctor bills. that money is just for diapers and formula. i buy all the clothes toys, childcare. everything.
and one of the biggest kickers is he hastn had sex with me sence i was 3 months pregnant. Thats right ladys almost a whole year!!! he doesnt even try. we dont even kiss except maybe the one i get when he comes home from work on the forhead.. i know he is not cheating cause he is always on the computer. I just dont think he cares about sex. i really dont. soemtimes i think he has a horomon imbalance.
he is addicted to this video game called wow.. he plays the video game every single night. while i cook, clean, work, and take care of our son. And then complains or tells me to wiat 20 minutes when i need him to take the baby to shower or run to the store.
In the 2 1/2 year we have been together he has NEVER made dinner. never!!! And everything i make he doesnt like or isnt up to his standards, he would rather eat pizza and taco bell all the time if he could afford it.
O did i mention he spends 35 bucks a week on ciggaretts. MORE THEN HE SPENDS ON HIS SON
some times i think it would be easyer on my if i just did this buy my self. I mean the stress of having to take care of a baby and then deal with such a peice of crap is making me miserable.
and i just want to be happy.
what do you think, is being a single mother so hard that i should just deal with this guy… or would i be more happy with just me and my son?
yea its weird, when we were talking of kids in the beginning of our relationship (you know puppy love) he was all about being a family. And hasnt done one thing. he doesnt come to family functions or church with us. and grant you from time to time i do get 30 bucks out of him. but i would get more if i went after him for child support… Then i could afford it buy my self.
The game is rediculouse!!!! i hate it!!!
did i mention he is 31 years old. yea
and sometimes he does do a load of HIS laundry ( cause i refuse to fold his clothes after all he does is complain about the way i fold it) and he picks up HIS side of the room. but never mine. or adens corner..
well thanks ladys!!!
12 Comments so far
Well what I think is being a single mother is hard–quite hard at times–but that’s essentially what you’re doing, based on your description. What DOES he do to help? If all he does is sometimes give you money for diapers and formula, he’d be responsible for at least that much if you left him and took out child support.
Well, if you want to be happy, I would say tell him to bounce. Let him see how good he had it with you and when he comes crawling back, dont be so easy on him.
Believe me, us single mommies are plenty! You are not alone. Remember you deserve only as much as your giving out. And if you are giving 100% and he’s giving10%, find that man that’s gonna commit to giving you that extra 0.
Hope this helps!
No one can tell you if you’ll be happier without him, that is something only you can decide. I will say though that is already sounds like you are doing it alone, and have been for sometime. Being a single mom can be hard, I was one until about a year ago when I moved in with my significant other, but it is easier to do it alone, if you know that you can only depend on you.
Also if you leave, take him to court for child support. That way the courts will make him give money to help with his son and if he does not then they can take it straight from his check as long as he is working.
wow i would leave. and as for not having sex with you, i would assume he is sleeping around with someone else or maybe hes watching porn, which in my mind is no different. i dont know a guy that would go a whole year without sex. the smoking is harmful to your baby. i would suggest you talk to him and try to get something worked out, but he seems like hes stuck in his ways. your son should be the #1 priority to him. and he doesnt even have him or YOU on his priority list. baby i would leave. you need to do what is best for your son and being around this guy is not good. your family and friends should support you. its sounds like you are pretty much a single mom already. it wont be easy but you can do it. lots of us do. you would definitely be more happy with out this guy. take him to court for child support too
I have a friend that was addicted to wow so, I know when someone plays it, they play it for a ridiculous amount of time- hrs on end. I couldn’t put up with even that, muchless him not really helping you with anything.
I’m not single, but have considered it many times throughout my marriage when things weren’t going well. In fact, when my son was 12 months old, I decided it was time to go back to college and have a career option just in case so, I had to move away from my husband. My loan money gave me enough money to pay for rent, expenses, and part of child care, only needing a little help from him. It was rough at first, but I quickly got used to it and started really enjoying it. I didn;t have too much time with my son, but it made me make every moment with him worthwhile. I actually started enjoying time spent with him even more when I moved away.
Honestly, it doesn’t sound like your bf does much of anything for you, anyways, so it shouldn’t be too much of a change once he is gone besides no cigg smell, no one staying on the computer for hrs on end, and taking up space around you. It’s hard being alone and knowing there is only you to do everything, but it becomes empowering and makes you feel so strong. You know what you need to do. I think you’d be much happier without this guy. Good luck with everything!
Well here’s the deal…..
1. If you’re paying all the bills on your own now would it be any different if you left him? If you’re not paying all the bills now, could you afford to pay them on your own?
2. Does he take care of your son and by splitting up would this affect how your child is cared for? Does he watch your child while you’re working or do you have someone else do it?
3. That computer game is addicting, there was something on like 20/20 or Dateline a few years back about how people are honestly addicted to it and many of those people are depressed which makes it worse. Sadly, I know how it is, my 49 year old mother is addicted to it and she’d rather spend the day playing her game then spend time with her family- she skipped out on the last 2 holidays because she had to play her game.
If you are ready to care for your child 100% alone and feel that you can do it and it’ll make you happy then do it. But be sure you can both financially and emotionally do it.
Good luck.
Well you’re basically a single mom now raising TWO children. If you’re doing alright now, you’ll have it a lot easier once that leech is out of your hair. Your child will likely be better for it too since that sperm donor won’t be around to be a bad influence.
I am a single mom, and I finally left my sons dad (21 months later). I should have done it a long time ago, but better late than never, right?
In terms of doing it on your own : I have been since the boy was born, his dad does not know the word “job” and by getting rid of him I got rid of an expense, not child support.
The best thing you can do for your child is to be happy, so do whatever it takes to get there. I am much happier as a single mom (with him as the alternative). One day you will find someone who makes you happy, and loves your boy.
Good luck !!!
your basically a single mother anyway…except he lives there…he doesnt help you with the baby and doesnt pay anything so the only difference between you and a single mother right now is that your boyfriend lives wtih you….if your doing everything on your own then why do u need him
I have a 7 month old with a guy that I was with for 4 years. He’s worked less than that a year all together during that whole time. He would stay home and watch our son while I worked, which consisted of feeding him a couple times and trying to get him to sleep so he could play xbox. Then leaving to go party as soon as I got home, and coming home just in time for me to go to work again. I finally got sick of it a couple months ago and left him.
I now have my own place with just my son and I. I struggle a little bit to find daycare, because it’s really expensive to support my son and I on my own, but other than that I don’t regret my decision at all. It’s hard, of course, there are days when I’m so tired from waking up 2-3 times a night to feed my son and then waking up at 3:30 a.m. to get my son to the babysitter’s and then be at work by 5:30, to work 9.5 hrs and pick my son up my 3:30 just to come home and clean while getting my son’s dinner and bath ready that by the end of it all I’m literally physically incapable of moving. But I’m much, much happier on my own. I no longer have the stress of the arguments, and trying to support 3 people rather than 2. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it’s lonely. But, for me, it’s worth it.
Just remember, you’re referring to this man you *chose* as a “POS” and a piece of crap. So, it’s got to be over, right? Those are pretty demeaning ways to refer to your partner.
If it’s that bad, then yes, end it. Or if you’re not ready to end it, do a trial separation. But staying in the same situation and feeling the way you do about him isn’t going to help you.
I just left my sons daddy. It all came down to one question: What is best for this little baby I have? That’s how I came to my decision. Everyone’s situation is different, and so your answer can be subjective. But to me, my son was more important then any fight or grudge I held against his dad. It just turns out that leaving a toxic relationship was the right thing to do for my son. Plus, I’m happier too. Whatever you decide, keep your little one in mind. Always.